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It’s a fact of life that break ups can be hard and you are extremely lucky if you haven’t had to go through the process of having a broken heart. I have had my fair share and know many men and women that have. People think that it is women that suffer the most but men find it just as hard as women to get over exes. Whether it’s a long term or short term relationship, a break up can affect you deeply.
But another fact of life is that WE CAN get over them and I’m going to tell you how:
- It’s okay to be sad
You were in love and that ended. It’s hard, so hard (I speak from experience) but what I learnt was that in time everything will be okay. What I also learnt was rather than just saying I need to just get on with things and move on I found it better to take a week or two to wallow. Call in sick from work, stay in your PJ’s and have a duvet day. Eat popcorn and watch some break up movies (read here for our list of 28 films to watch after a break up). You’re likely to be sad for a while and for some people it is going to take longer than others. Make sure you embrace those emotions though, stay in bed and let your mind and body process these emotions – they will pass, I promise.
- Your friends are your saviours
In your hour of need your friends will become the people who are going to be there for you, if they aren’t then they aren’t really a friend. Spend time with the people that matter the most, let them spoil you and give you lots of cuddles. Chances are they met your partner and have spent time with the both of you so they will understand how you feel. Go out to dinner, do some fun activities, go shopping, or just chill with them at home – let them be your shoulder to cry on.
Book a massage, take lots of bubble baths or have a spa day. These are all wonderful things for the soul and will make you feel amazing and relaxed. They are also guaranteed ways to make yourself feel better.
- Go to the gym
Working out is a great way to burn that anger that you have inside of you. I find that doing a class is really great. Boxing is fabulous as you can pretend the person you’re boxing with is your ex and you can hit them to your hearts content (sorry boxing partner!). If boxing isn’t your thing, yoga is wonderful for nourishing the mind, body and soul.
- Cut out the ex
You don’t need them on your Twitter or Facebook feed. You don’t need to see their dating profile and you don’t need their number – DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. You might find it difficult at first but in the long run, trust me you’ll feel better.
Getting a change of scenery to take your mind off things is a great way to get over your ex. Book a Hangover/Dil Chahta Hai/Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara style trip with your friends; get a tan. Meet new friends and discover a new country. You’ll be over the ex by the time you get back to England and ready to meet someone new.
- See what else is out there but take your time
This isn’t one I wouldn’t jump into straight away, but there’s no harm in seeing what else is out there. Have a browse on AsianD8 and other sites to see who takes your fancy, attend some events or just chat to people out and about. You might not meet the love of your life immediately but your ego will definitely be boosted and you may even make some new friends.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Violeta Para “Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.”
Bio: Priya Mulji is a marketer and columnist based in London. Specialising in all things love, you can check out her blog at http://www.priyamulji.com