Make Up or Break Up

By Priya Mulji in Asian Dating & Singles Events on May 12, 2013 | 0

Relationships end. Sometimes it’s because of you, sometimes it’s not because of you. Things change; situations change, life changes and these are things which are beyond our control. I found myself in such a situation recently when a relationship of mine ended. It wasn’t my fault, he just didn’t like me as much as I liked him but as much as I didn’t want to blame him i couldn’t help myself. I also blamed myself-asking the what if questions such as what if I had worn different clothes or acted differently? However this relationship didn’t end because of me, if he didn’t love me then he didn’t love me and I couldn’t change that ever. I also believe that people shouldn’t change themselves in a relationship; you should grow as a couple.

I had my days of crying, eating chocolate and watching stupid rom coms like ‘Bridget Jones Diary’ and ‘He’s Just Not That into You’. Friends called me to console me while I sobbed like a child, friends took me out to party while I had panda eyes. Then one day I took control of the situation and got a grip! “Priya, you are a strong, intellectual, independent and lovely woman’ it is his loss not yours so now get yourself back onto AsianD8 and show the guys what they are missing.’ As soon as I programmed that mentality into my mind I was smiling again and life went back to normal.

People here are a few tips to get over a break up:

Delete them!
I mean phone numbers, pictures, texts, emails, facebook profiles; everything! Whilst they are lingering in your life you won’t be able to move on because you will always be thinking ‘what if’ – what if he changes his mind? What if he starts to miss me? No! Move on and get on with your life, it is for the best.

Try something new..
Join a dance class, go learn a new language, take up hiking. Whatever you do go out and don’t stay cooped up inside moping around thinking about how you miss them. This isn’t good for your inner psyche. Making new friends, checking out new places and having new adventures is great for a healthy life.

Positive mental attitude
Just because he or she wasn’t the one doesn’t mean you will never find love again. FACT. So many people break up with their partners and within months they find someone better who is their soul mate. Go speed dating, join up to an online dating site or just go out on your own and meet new people and the world can be your oyster.

Exercise..
Chances are you may have over indulged on food, chocolate, alcohol during the break up so as well as having a healthy mental attitude a healthy body is a must. Drink water, go to the gym or do yoga. Anything that keeps you active is great.

However you choose to deal with it just remember you are not alone. He or she might have walked out of your life and I know it is cliché to say this but when one door closes another one opens. Be open to finding love again and it shall surely happen.

Tags: Break Ups | Dating | Relationships | Tips

Why Are Girls So Stupid?

By Abhi Patel in Asian Online Dating on April 28, 2013 | 0

So, any girl reading the title of this probably feels slightly offended right now, but read on and you will soon come to realise that this is in fact true (especially if you’re single). To be fair, it’s not really our fault as God has created the male species such that we will perhaps never fully understand them (and with that thought, I believe the feelings are mutual). In any case, part of life is to meet the right person, get married and start a family (you know the drill) but most of all don’t forget to have fun in the process, where dating usually plays its role.

Does it ever feel like it’s actually not fun, hard work or stressful? Yes, we have all been there. Dating can sometimes feel like a chore especially when you meet one loser after another. To be honest, the loser in fact is you. You’re making the wrong choices and falling for the traps you should be reading early on.

Here’s my advice ladies … don’t be stupid and DON’T:

1) Fall for Mr. Hard Work – he frustrates you and doesn’t treat you well

2) Fall for Mr. Lead Her On – if words don’t resonate in actions

3) Eagerly call / message – when there isn’t the same in return

4) Be ‘easy’ – you should know what I mean by this

5) Let your guard down quickly – there is a reason we all have one

I hope there is some truth in this for you ladies. Men be warned, we’re onto you

I would love to know if you’ve experienced any of these situations so leave me a comment below or hit me up on Twitter @abst4r.

Until next time, so long singletons x

Tags: Dating Advice | dating tips

5 Dating Don’ts!

By Raja Raval in Asian Dating & Singles Events on April 14, 2013 | 0

Are you fed up with the dating merry-go-round? Is your head in a spin when it comes to the opposite sex? Figure you’ll never be able to work out what women – or men – are looking for? Well, worry no more as help is at hand. You might not realise it, but there’s a few things that both men and women hate in a date. Yes, you might think you know them all – talking about yourself all the time, a lack of personal hygiene, that sort of thing. Well, read on and prepare to be surprised – and also to make a few little changes to set your love life sparkling.

And here it is – the little list that just might change your life. What exactly do single men and women hate in a date? Here goes…

1. Attention / Status Swaps

I can see you shaking your head, going – he’s lost it for good! What’s he on about – some sort of esoteric computing jargon? Well, you can take your tetchy hat off, I just mean that no matter how tempted you might be, never give up your status in return for attention and approval.

Still shaking your head? Let me explain. The number one hate for your date is when you bow to his or her every need. Buy them this, try and flatter them, yada yada … just give up now, it isn’t going to work. Just be yourself, don’t try and buy affection and attention.

2. No Neediness

Insecurity is another huge turn-off for both men and women. Think about it – you know someone who’s as clingy as a toddler, so neurotic they can hardly get through their day. And be honest – do you enjoy spending time in their company? Unless there’s something very strange about you, I’m betting you are saying ‘no way’. Because no one likes a weedy wimp who needs constant reassurance and who sucks all the attention up like a big soppy sponge. So ditch that insecurity and get zingy, not clingy!

3. Step Up and Take Charge

I guess everyone knows that girls like guys who aren’t afraid to take charge and be the leader. So, boys, just a gentle reminder – don’t wuss on out on your date, man it up. If she’s clearly waiting for you to take charge, go for it and make suggestions, book an event she’s hinted she’s desperate to do, arrange the meal at her favourite restaurant and so on.

But girls – don’t switch off now. Because guess what – it gets lonely at the top. If you’re usually a modest miss who likes to sit back and have it all done for you – maybe, just maybe, your date is a little bit sick of it. Watch out for those clues and body language that say ‘come on, this is the 21st century – girls can do direction too!’. Then act on them. You never know – you might like it!

4. Ditch The Poor Poor Me Voice

I think you know what I mean. Girls – do you use that little girl lost, whiney voice? Maybe it worked when daddy was the main man in your life, but you’re all grown up now, so time to ditch the baby talk. I’m going to tell you a little secret – guys hate it. They associate baby voice with their kid sister not with a fully grown professional woman. There’s no way baby voice sounds sexy. Not. In. A. Million. Years. So grow up and speak like the woman you are!

Guys, no use skipping over this tip, because you do it too. Yup, I’m pointing at you. With you, it tends to be body language – go and check out a club or bar if you want to see what I mean. Watch the guys who are all over the woman, leaning forward, faking attention, mopping up every little thing she says. Watch the impact as well – the girl will be looking bored as hell. That sort of body language reads as insecure – and insecurity is a massive turn-off remember!

5: When Boy Meets Girl..

Remember, this is a date. A date with a member of the opposite sex. So, if you want to spark some real sexual attraction, quit acting like you’re with your brother or in the office. If you’re a guy – be a man! Strong, competitive, dominant, manly. Women – you need to flirt a little, play hard to get, play with your hair. Now, I’m not saying you have to go all caveman and woman, chase each other around the bar and act out those deepest fantasies there and then. Sure, you can talk, get to know each other, smile and laugh and enjoy the date. But remember to hint about the MAN or WOMAN whose passionate side is lurking underneath…

Tags: Dating Advice | dating tips | Relationships

Friends

By Priya Mulji in Asian Dating & Singles Events on March 31, 2013 | 0

How many times have you heard the comment “oh, we were friends then we fell in love, it just happened”? Or how many times have you heard “we were friends and we kind of fancied each other, then the friendship was lost just because we thought we would make a good couple, but everything just changed once we were in the relationship”?

Many a time right?

I have friends who were friends with their partners for years and then one day something just clicked and then they fell in love.

But can men and women just be friends? As Billy Crystal once famously said “the sex part just gets in the way.”

When you think about it there are a few potential situations that can occur from a person liking their friend. I am going to pretend like it is the girl who likes the guy but this can be flipped over. There are many outcomes of two people possibly just falling into a relationship. Because one delays telling the other their feelings, they are confined to the friend zone and hence are scared to tell the other how they feel. Both parties like each other and live happily ever after. Two people think they like each other, get into a relationship but then realise they aren’t meant to be, and then they either go back to being friends or go their separate ways thus losing a friend.

In my opinion it’s down to how strong your feelings are. If you feel that you will not rest until you tell someone how you feel then it is a risk you have down to the person and whether it is a risk they want to take. This sums it up quite well. Say, if I hadn’t told this guy that I liked him, I’d have been left wondering if he liked me or not. Fact is he didn’t however is this better than not ever knowing? That’s down to personal preference I guess. You can choose to be heartbroken but you’ll get over it but you also lose a friend so possibly a no win situation. One person mentioned to me on twitter that friendship can develop into love if you live in within close proximity to each other; you can basically charm one another.

Whatever the outcome is going to be I don’t think it should stop anyone from revealing their true feelings. Thing is, you just don’t know what is going on in someone’s head until one person makes the move and tells the other person clearly what is going on in theirs so I say take the risk and tell that person how you feel because if you don’t you will be left wondering for the rest of your life. Yes, there is the danger you could lose a friend but wouldn’t you rather tell them than have this emotion eating away at you? I would.

In conclusion if you like someone, and if he or she is a friend; tell them how you feel. That is my perspective. There’s a 50/50 chance they will like you back. If not; then there is someone who will love you and be your friend too; isn’t that what we all want?

First Date

By Abhi Patel in Asian Dating & Singles Events on March 15, 2013 | 0

The perfect first date is hard to come by, especially when you have high expectations! Let’s face it, a first date can be pretty awkward, especially if you have never spoken before or worse yet, are doing it blind! That moment when you first see them, if my heart doesn’t skip a beat or if I can’t feel my blood pressure rise, I just know he isn’t ‘the one’. So what else really makes or breaks a first date? Here are 10 key factors I look out for on a first date:

1) Confidence
The way in which a guy carries himself for me is a major factor for attraction. Confidence should border arrogance but not cross the line.

2) Dress sense
Clothing is majorly important. If a guy doesn’t dress well, it’s automatically a turn off. What is dressing well? For me it’s dressing with a sense of swagger and unique style.

3) Date location
It’s important to meet at a location where it’s slightly quiet so you can converse. Lighting is also important, as after work I tend to look slightly like the dog’s dinner, so the dimmer the better! Also, guys who make locations more convenient for them to get home from can do one, as I’m not stupid. Meet half way or accommodate for the lady and be a gent!

4) Mannerism
Guys who spit when they talk, have an uncontrollable spasm or come across really eager and excited just don’t do it for me!

5) Conversation
Conversation should flow without the awkward silences. If you lose my interest, I will be looking at my phone (trying to get one of the girls to bail me out), have my head in the menu or be looking around the room! Keeping my eye contact should be a sign that I am interested

6) Attraction
This is imperative! You need to be hot in my eyes, like a Bradley Cooper or Paul Walker type. A chiselled jaw line, tall and body to die for usually has my attention for the best part of 10 minutes, then the personality factor kicks in.

7) Personality
Looks without personality will never last. Don’t try and over impress, as that’s usually clear to see! Be yourself and I am sure if I am the right girl I will be falling for you in no time!

8) Banter
I love it when guys mock me and make smart comments and digs. There needs to be humour and laughter or my life would be as boring as hell! I like to think I’m a funny girl, well actually I think I am hilarious at times and this needs to be two ways! I am not here to entertain you … I want to be entertained too!

9) Interests
If you don’t fit the bill in coolness with interests (football is a must) that make me want to get to know you better, then the first date is where this ends I’m afraid.

10) Chemistry
This is the difficult one; it’s the je ne sais quoi. It’s something you can’t quite put your finger on, but you know when it is there. It’s just in the air and you can feel it.

Now you know a little about what is going through my head during a first date! Do you have any other key factors you analyse other than the above? Leave a comment below or hit me up on Twitter @abst4r.

Tags: Dating | dating tips | First Date

Asian Online Dating Doesn’t Have to be Daunting…

By Raja Raval in Asian Online Dating on March 10, 2013 | 0

If you’re browsing this page, the chances are you are part of a new, but now well-established, social phenomenon, online asian dating. As we’re sure you know, for most Indians arranged marriages have been the norm. The concept of going it alone, having dates and selecting one of several potential partners is still relatively new for many of us, and although it’s an exciting concept, it can also be massively daunting and downright scary (if we admit it!). If you are one of the brave new pioneers, here are some helpful hints to avoid disaster and get you dating divinely…

1. Go Online Every Time!
You’re a successful professional, and probably do most of your work during the day using computers and the latest technology and software. And you get together with your mates online as well, using Facebook, Twitter and the rest. So dating online is only the natural progression. After all, it makes a lot of sense. Online, you can be anonymous until you decide to go public. You can let state-of-the-art software help you find your perfect match. You can manage your profile easily, and there’s lots of help to access about writing your profile, meeting in person for the first time and so on – at least, that’s what AsianD8 offer.

2. Mention your Intentions
If you’re venturing into the world of dating for the first time, it’s important to get it right. And getting it right means getting what you want out of the experience. Just a hint here – other people aren’t mind readers. If you want to stand a chance of getting what you want, don’t be afraid to say exactly what you are looking for. So, whether you are drafting your online profile, chatting to a potential partner on the phone, or meeting in person, know what you want and make sure you make it clear. This can avoid a lot of confusion about sex, marriage and family – and even about what sort of movie you end up watching!

3. The Difference Between Girls and Boys
There’s a traditional expectation that gender roles are very different in Indian culture. But all the rules are changing, and it’s getting easier to decide how you particularly want to play the gender game. Here communication is the key: if you’re looking for a traditional partner, make it clear. Similarly, if you want equal rights and less defined roles, you need to talk it through.

4. Will Mum (& Dad) Approve?
There’s a chance that your parents, having been brought up with arranged marriages, will want the same for you. Whether your mum and dad are open to change and doing dating differently, or would prefer to find you the perfect partner, remember they’re your parents – they are supposed to be annoying sometimes! Even if you find their attitudes uber-frustrating, remember to be respectful at all times, and be patient with them. The more polite and respectful you are, the better the chances of them seeing from your perspective eventually.

5. And Breathe…
Above all, don’t be in a hurry to get results. Just because dating’s so much easier online, it doesn’t mean it’s all going to happen instantaneously. If you aren’t used to the rhythm of dating, give yourself plenty of time to get used to it. Don’t expect a perfect match yesterday, or think you’ll go from first date to marriage in a month. Take it slowly, take it cautiously… and enjoy the process with Asiand8! & If you still require a little bit more assistance, then feel free to request a FREE phone consultation with me and I will show you exactly how to make the most of AsianD8 and the variety of services they provide

Tags: advice | Asian dating | dating tips | online dating

AsianD8 Couple Feature in Asian Bride Magazine!

By AsianD8 in Media on March 8, 2013 | 0

Single or not, at AsianD8 we love a good wedding. If you lovely ladies are anything like the girls in our office, then you’re crazy about Asian fashion and are constantly on the look out for inspiration for what to wear to the next family function!

Needless to say, the girls were pretty excited when our friends over at Asian Bride Magazine mentioned they were getting the latest issue together. They got even more excited when Asian Bride asked if we could help them find a couple who got married abroad. “We know just the couple” we said. And we put them in touch with Rita and Kishore…

Just to jog your memory for those of you who can’t think why those names ring a bell, Rita and Kishore are an AsianD8 success story! Check out their story here…

So we put the two parties in touch and together they told the story of Rita and Kishore’s beautiful Barbados wedding.

If you want to read Rita and Kishore’s story, if someone you know is getting married or if you just want to be inspired by some stunning Asian Fashion then get yourself a copy of the magazine. It is available to buy in all good newsagents and to download from the app store .

Tags: Asian Bride Magazine | Fashion | Success story | Weddings

Is Romance Dead?

By Priya Mulji in Asian Dating & Singles Events on March 3, 2013 | 0

It is time, it is time to face the music. It is time to embrace. Embrace that little thing called love. February has notoriously been the month of love and I, as a singleton, as usual, spent Valentines Day in the company of good friends, with good prosecco and good Italian food. And why not? Just because I am single doesn’t mean I have to celebrate love in the traditional sense. I will celebrate it with everything else I love; friends, food and wine. I had a lovely evening at Zizzi’s in Pinner where albeit the food was mega late I had a fabulous evening and I wouldn’t have spent it any other way.

Around me I saw many couples, families and groups of friends and it got me thinking that as much as women say they don’t want a fuss – they do! They want romance, they want flowers on Valentines Day, they want chocolate and champagne. They want to be swept off their feet like Kajol in DDLJ where their romantic hero travels half way around the world to win over her parents for his love.

Admit it girls; however much we say we’re independent; we want to be wined and dined. We offer to pay for half of dinner but in reality we want our dates to say ‘put your money away darling because dinner is on me.’ I’m not saying this should happen all the time when in a relationship and it shouldn’t be beyond a guys means (Nando’s is fine because we all love Nandos, not on a first date though!)

So what’s happened to good old fashioned love? Well it has been replaced with this modern thing called dating, which turns into a relationship which may or may not turn into love or marriage and along the way the romance element often gets trapped in a little tiny cupboard where it often doesn’t find its way out. I often say that romance is dead and often put it out on social media sites ‘it isn’t dead, I am a complete romantic’ men cry out to me, the same men who for valentines just a card is the norm. When dating they wait for the girl to call because they are ‘too shy’ to call a girl first. Women dream of the Hollywood/Bollywood kinda love; flowers, chocolates, champagne and actually being picked up by our dates instead of ‘yeah, I’ll meet you at Marks and Spencers near Covent Garden station’
Times are changing people say, men have become too laid back and think women don’t want all this. They wait for the woman to call before he does because ‘that’s what they think women want.’ On the contrary; I would love it, when I’m initially dating a guy, if he chased me and showed me he was interested, well not chasing too much but just the right amount. The right amount being construed as him texting that eve and calling you the next day, texting daily, calling every other. Arranging the next date (and if there is going to be a 2nd or 3rd) within the next few days. Instead of waiting for us to do it because ‘he is really busy.’ Rather than texting or emailing isn’t just picking up the phone and asking whether you would like to meet or just fancy a chat more romantic? Obviously now we have to tell them what they ‘should’ be doing if they want to date a girl?

Men, if you want a girl to be yours. All you have to do is say. Be romantic, you know the old fashioned way. Wine and dine her, make her heart flutter and make love not have sex. Call her. Sweep a woman off her feet, love her without acting like a fool who doesn’t care and she will be yours forever.

Tags: Love | Romance | Valentines

She’s Just Not That Into You!

By Abhi Patel in Asian Online Dating on February 17, 2013 | 0

Do you often find yourself left with no reply to your messages, no answer to your calls and feel slightly rejected? Well yes you should! Do you know why? She’s just not that into you!
Why is this so? Well from experience, you could come across as one of the following:

1) You’re boring

You talk about the obvious things in life that is just small talk and not necessarily helping to show you have a personality I can click with.

2) You’re desperate and eager

If you message your life story in a single message, or wave or message repeatedly with no response from me the first, second or thirty-third time, then don’t you think you’re a little weird?

3) You’re not attractive (in my eyes)

It’s never nice to tell someone they are ugly but if there is no attraction in the slightest, then it may be a reason for my silence.

Reading this, you may feel I’m sitting on my high horse with my expectations and judgemental nature, but is there anything wrong with having your own standards? If I know what I like, want and need in my life then surely there is nothing wrong with rejecting those who do not meet my criteria. Should I message every guy with a reason? Well no, I don’t know them, honestly don’t have time to and to be fair don’t owe them anything unless we are seriously dating or in a relationship.

So slightly brutal and perhaps my way of dating is not what you classify as the ‘right’ way! Is there even a ‘right’ way to date people? Are there rules and a dating etiquette?

Leave a comment below or hit me up on Twitter @abst4r with #D8ingrules

Tags: Dating Etiquette | online dating | Rejection | Tips

4 Fab Tips to Attract this Valentine’s Day

By Raja Raval in Asian Dating & Singles Events on February 10, 2013 | 0

Sorry, could you repeat that, I sort of zoned out there… what did you say? Err, could you repeat that, I wasn’t listening… Yeah, thinking of something else…

Sound familiar? Is that how you are coming across to your dates – Mr or Ms ‘Please Ignore Me’? If you have problems getting and keeping your date’s attention, this post is just for you. I’m going to let you into a little secret, in fact four little secrets, with these tips for getting him or her to be all ears and eyes. So, hold on to your hats for these four fab tips!

Secret 1: You can’t say ‘no’ to attraction
… because attraction isn’t a choice. It’s a feeling. And as you know, feelings are born, not made. You can spend all the time you like trying to pursue a girl, or argue a guy into commitment, but if he doesn’t feel like it, or she just doesn’t fancy you – forget it! I’m guessing that at work you are the busy professional, used to making people do things your way simply through the power of your words. Well, that works at work, not in your romantic life. What you need to do is get thoroughly acquainted with the rules of attraction.

Secret 2: Give me strength!
… what I mean is, you need to man up. No girl likes a clingy, wussy, kissy-pleasy, approval-seeking man. Yeah, it’s good to be in touch with your emotions, but not to the extent you give her a blow-by-blow breakdown of how sad you felt when your poor doggy died.
And this isn’t just a tip for guys! Girls, you too need to play it by ear. It’s a fine line between feminine rose and wailing whiner for whom nothing is quite good enough. Tone down the moans and ‘special me’ if you really want your dates to be great!

Secret 3: Learn what really works (not what you think might work)
Strange as it seems, this is a real problem for the highly intelligent. The brighter you are in terms of brains, the harder it seems to be for you to ‘get it’ about the opposite sex. You’re probably a high achiever in other areas of your life – but what works in the office or socially won’t necessarily work with the opposite sex. Sometimes you’ve just got to stop thinking and start doing the right things. You are probably thinking now – cut to the chase, and tell us what the right things actually are. Fair enough – but they are really pretty simple. Guys – don’t chase, don’t call her up all the time and don’t feel you have to spend every minute of every day by her side. Keep your distance and keep your cool. Girls – the same applies for you. No drippy, clingy, neediness and no passive aggressive tactics – be cool. Winner!

Secret 4: Don’t ask? Don’t get
Sometimes you need to recognise your weak areas and do something about them. It’s not a weakness to ask for help. In fact, it’s been shown that people who are happy to ask and take advice are the ones who go on to be most successful in their chosen career. It’s all about learning and making objective assessments of your strong and weak areas. If you are looking for a real insight into how the laws of attraction between men and women really work, help is at hand, take a look at my site here.

**As a special offer just for you lovely Asian D8ers – Receive a free hour long Phone Consultation worth £75!!**

Tags: Attraction | Dating | Tips | Valentines

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